Q: My (tractor/tiller/chainsaw/trimmer/weedeater/truck/gas-powered-vibrator) won’t start. What should I do? Asking for a friend.Random Internet Person

A: I generally find that ignoring it for a while works wonders. If it still won’t start later, try cursing and fussing to your significant other. After that, either sell, or give it away, or bring in a mechanic. Or study it yourself, troubleshoot the problem, and start ordering parts. Then prepare to start learning the hard way.

In the meantime, while you’re waiting, try wasting some time on the Internet. Here are some pictures from the last few weeks: — dc/BSM

09113016-dan-office

Engine wont’ start? Take it apart! It still won’t start once you’ve done that, but you’ll get to play with tools!

GO FOR A WALK

Your engine still won’t start, but you’ll have walked somewhere.

sky-over-bbk-parking 09112016-vista-1 09112016-trail 09112016-j-sil 09112016-j-on-ridge 09112016-j-flower-2 09112016-highlands 09112016-flower-1 09112016-black-balsam-dan d-and-j-at-glassy-mountain greenville

Have a drink

Your engine still won’t start, but what will you care? You’re drinking.

09112016-j-at-innovation-sylva the-happiest-day-ever-for-j j-observes-skeptically j-laughs j-cant-see c-drinks

Put on a skirt and go out in public

You have probably detected a theme in this post, in that none of these suggestions even remotely affect engine performance.

reclining rear-view-kilt nibbling dancing silly-walks-4 silly-walks-3 silly-walks-2 silly-walks-1 j-and-l girls

Photos: Dan Conover, Janet Conover, Charlotte Nottingham, Lindsay Chard.

%d bloggers like this: