Q: My (tractor/tiller/chainsaw/trimmer/weedeater/truck/gas-powered-vibrator) won’t start. What should I do? Asking for a friend. — Random Internet Person
A: I generally find that ignoring it for a while works wonders. If it still won’t start later, try cursing and fussing to your significant other. After that, either sell, or give it away, or bring in a mechanic. Or study it yourself, troubleshoot the problem, and start ordering parts. Then prepare to start learning the hard way.
In the meantime, while you’re waiting, try wasting some time on the Internet. Here are some pictures from the last few weeks: — dc/BSM
GO FOR A WALK
Your engine still won’t start, but you’ll have walked somewhere.
Have a drink
Your engine still won’t start, but what will you care? You’re drinking.
Put on a skirt and go out in public
You have probably detected a theme in this post, in that none of these suggestions even remotely affect engine performance.
Photos: Dan Conover, Janet Conover, Charlotte Nottingham, Lindsay Chard.